Make a Career Decision
“You can do it!” and “Follow your dreams!” We’ve all heard these speeches.
Abandoning one job or career for another is much easier to say than do. Especially when you are, by any measure, a “winner” in life and the place you’re in is pretty good. In spite of speeches that make it sound easy, changing our lives is tough. We may fail. People may laugh at us. In the words of one of my clients, “Even my mother will think that I am crazy if I give up this job!”
Many of us grapple with these issues. My friend Jill is a gifted engineer who has invested years in making a significant contribution to her firm. But her burning passion for her work is starting to cool down. When I asked her to describe her concerns, she grimaced and said, “I just don’t feel like I’m learning that much. I know I’m doing a great job, but I feel like, ‘Been there, done that.’ It’s not the company’s fault. I love my company and feel like they deserve my best. It’s just hard for me to generate the enthusiasm that I know I should.”
“What job sounds fun and exciting to you?” I asked.
Her face lit up as she replied, “I think that I could do a great job managing a project team and eventually leading a larger part of our business. I have seen other managers. I know that I can do what they do. In fact, some of the ones I respect the most have encouraged me to go for it.”
“Why don’t you try for a career in management?”
“I’m afraid of giving up what I have,” she added. “If I go into management, I’m definitely going to lose my technical edge after a few years. Nobody is going to want to hire me as an engineer anymore. I have friends who’ve been in middle management and been laid off. It can be tough for them to get another job. Besides, I’m great at what I do. I make a nice salary, and I don’t have as many headaches. Why should I take the risk?” She became animated as she defended her present position.
I laughed and replied, “Jill, it’s not my life. We’re talking about your life. Being an engineer is fine; being in management is fine. I’m just a friend who wants you to be happy. Who are you arguing with?”
“I guess that I’m arguing with myself,” she said, smiling. “I just don’t know what to do.”
A client, Dave, is also very good at what he does. In some ways he seems to have it all. He’s 50, in great shape, has an MBA from Wharton, and is an investment banker with a net worth of millions of dollars. He has a great wife and nice kids. But his burning passion for his work is also beginning to wane. He wants to teach. I asked him why he loved teaching, and he said, “It’s really fun. Every night when I come home from teaching an MBA course at the local university, my wife notices how great I feel and how positive I am. I really believe I’m making a difference in some of my students’ lives!”
But when I asked, “Why don’t you become a teacher?” Dave talked himself out of his newfound passion.
“Compared to being an investment banker, college professors don’t make any money. To make it worse, none of the real professors seem to respect me that much. I don’t have a PhD; in some ways, they kind of think that they are better than I am. Why should I put up with their crap? Many of them don’t know anything about the real world like I do. Why should I give up a great job with lots of money, status, and respect to be a second-class citizen?”
“To begin with, why do you care about money?” I laughed. “You already have more than you can spend. By the way, who are you arguing with?”
It’s very easy to talk with our friends about “going to the next level.” How many times have you heard people talk about the job that they “would love to have someday”? How many of these people actually end up doing the work they dream about?
The next time you hear yourself talking about “that job I would really like to have,” look in the mirror. How willing are you to lose what you have? All opportunity involves risk. How willing are you to face the possibility of failure or diminished success?
If you have been having the same long-standing debate — either with friends or just in your head — it’s time to make a decision. If you want to go for it, don’t kid yourself about the risk. You have to be willing to accept the possibility of failure and get started. If you decide you don’t want to give up what you have, make peace with it.
Quit wasting time debating with yourself about a future that will never happen.
Who are you arguing with?
Life is good.
Marshall
www.MarshallGoldsmithFeedForward.com
Tags: CEO, Coaching, communication, Marshall Goldsmith
September 22nd, 2008 at 5:26 am
Marshall,
Great post and I couldn’t agree more. I work in the entrepreneurial community and from time to time hear/read those “go for it” speeches. Rarely however, do you hear real world speeches (at least from the paid speakers) covering the risks and trials you will face as an entrepreneur, or anyone making a huge life-changing decision. I guess those messages don’t sell conference tickets!
About a year ago, Michael Gerber was in town and a colleague and I attended the 1/2 day conference. Michael, as you probably know, is author of the eMyth series of books which have generated lots of buzz and so of course being in the field, we wanted to hear what he had to say.
I guess I should have read the books first and saved my money. The entire point of his two hour presentation seemed to be something like “wait for that moment of entrepreneurial insight where everything feels right and you will be destined to succeed beyond your wildest dreams”. Great sentiment and very inspiring; real world it is not. (And my apologies if Michael is a friend of yours).
The problem is we all want to focus on the few who succeed; whose blinding flash of insight result in a life changing decision that takes them to ever higher levels of income and growth. What we never seem to acknowledge though is that for every person who “makes it” there are thousands who had a blinding insight just as real, that made a decision they will regret for years.
Now I’m not saying we should all avoid life-changing decisions. I’m agreeing with you that the best decisions are made paying equal attention to our head as well as our heart. It takes passion, drive and creativity to succeed no doubt. But anyone who doesn’t also take into account responsibilities, possibilities, and practical consequences is setting themselves up to fail.
I just found your blog and I am very impressed with your thoughts and comments. Keep up the good work.